Praise to the man (or woman)

I was taught growing up that I should praise God for all the good that happened in my life. The bad that happened where lessons from God and all the in between was still attributed to God in some way or another that put him in the best light. Since this thought process had always been drilled into me, I thought it was normal. When I moved away from home I went through a time of great loneliness and I called on God to comfort me and I praised him when that loneliness went away. As I look back I can see that my de-conversion happened over the past 10 years. When I started working hard to figure out who I am and what I want in life, I started realizing that the good that came to my life was because of MY hard work or the help of other fellow humans, but what I still did for the longest time was continue to give the praise to God. I honestly went through phases, I tried for the longest time to push myself back into church and then I would feel empty again, then someone would reach out to me and get me involved again. I wanted that security that religion brought to me, after all it had been a part of my life since I could remember. I hadn't experienced patting myself on the back for my own accomplishments. Now, I am not trying to say that we as human beings shouldn't practice humility. What I am trying to get at is that when we accept that our choices are our own, that things happen in life because of those choices, then we start not only taking accountability for our own choices and consequences more, but we also start giving ourselves (and other people) the praise that it takes to step it up a notch a become truly happy. When I decided to leave the church, I started to take inventory of all the good that had happened in my life. I feel that I have accomplished a lot in my short life and I have (and do) experience an extreme amount of happiness. This happiness is due to learning from my mistakes, taking accountability and constantly challenging myself, working hard to attain the things in life that bring me joy. I am sorry, but I can no longer give praise to the man upstairs. I give that praise to myself and my fellow human beings. There is good out there and it is because of good people and their good works. Part of saying goodbye to God for me has been accepting and realizing the many PEOPLE and experiences that have influenced my life and made me who I am today. I wouldn't change any of my life experiences because they have made me who I am today and I love who I am ;).

Three Crucial Things You Must Know Before Challenging an Atheist

I came across this on the internet and found it relevant to my experience.

There are three categories of atheists:

1. Natural Atheists: Those brought up by atheist parents who never experienced the conflict between religion and rationality.

2. Apathetic Atheists: Those whose faith was not particularly strong and who, without a compelling drive to believe or not believe, defaulted to atheism – becoming an atheist involved very little internal debate and conflict.

3. Dissonant Atheists: Those who grew up with belief but who were overwhelmingly torn up over the incompatibility between faith and rationality. These people sought one thing – to rid themselves of the terrible cognitive dissonance cat #1 and #2 atheists are spared from.

I’m here to talk about category #3 atheists because, well, I am in that group.

Three Things You Must Know About Category #3 Atheists

1. We Sometimes Wish Were Wrong (Even Though We Know We Are Not): I think one of the biggest mistakes theists make is to assume an atheist’s decision to ditch god was arrived at without deeply studying the issue. They honestly believe that all they have to do is raise a little awareness and, viola, they will have an easy conversion. This is not the case for cat #3 atheists. For us, becoming an atheist was the biggest decision of our lives. After all, becoming an atheist, not only means (for 99.9% of us) getting rid of god, it also means abandoning the idea of immortality (ourselves and our loved ones) and that makes it a very, very big decision. Many of us go through a very real grieving process over all of this. With all this on the line, do you really think we’d only put a half-assed effort into our decision?

2. We’ve Heard It All Before: I’m amazed how often – in my time as an atheist – I’ve been challenged by someone who thinks they have the ultimate argument for religion. Trust me, you have nothing new to offer us on this discussion. Why am I so cocky (clue: see #1 above)? We’ve heard all your objections and questions before – probably many times before. Where have we heard them? We heard them inside our own heads during our de-conversion process. We’ve run the scenarios and questions many, many times – over and over – in our minds and, eventually, logic won out over these objections and we accepted reality. Most cat #3 atheists will have read multiple books on both sides of the argument, spend hundreds of hours on the web, and viewed countless Youtube debates (frankly, once you’ve seen Christopher Hitchens or Sam Harris demolish the likes of Dinesh D’Souza a few times, our own debates seem …rather lame). What you need to know is that by the time you come into the picture, your objections are not at all new to us.

3. You are Projecting: What we’ve come to realize about your questions and objections (e.g. “What’s the purpose of life without God?” and “Why be moral?”) is that you’re projecting your thoughts, insecurities and fears onto us. Sure, we can answer your questions but, we know in doing so that our worldview troubles you, and that you ask those questions to help you imagine what it might be like to be an atheist. My advice is to keep on asking these good questions, but to also make sure you ask them of yourself. I think you’ll find that you can imagine there’s no heaven. You may even find that it’s easy if you try.

To be blunt, what all this means is that you have very little hope of converting a cat #3 atheist to your religion (you probably won’t have much luck with a cat #1 either). Seriously, your best chance will be attempting to convert a cat #2 atheist, so you might want to start by asking a few questions before wasting time on the wrong category.

Now you have a better understanding of us. You also have a more specific target conversion market.

You’re welcome.

Story of deconversion

This story of deconversion is very well stated and compelling.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Evid3nc3#p/c/A0C3C1D163BE880A

What is God?

I recently stumbled on a review of a psychology study called Creating God In One’s Own Image. Here is a small exert from the review (since they state as good or better than I can); "For many religious people, the popular question “What would Jesus do?” is essentially the same as “What would I do?” Through a combination of surveys, psychological manipulation and brain-scanning, researchers found that when religious Americans try to infer the will of God they mainly draw on their own personal beliefs. They use their own beliefs as a starting point, which colors their final conclusions about what God wants.

Researchers even manipulated people to change their views on God by getting them to read a speech that either supported or went against their (and God’s) stated position. The task shifted people’s attitudes towards the position in their speech, either strengthening or moderating their original views, and altering their estimation about what God’s attitude was.

People may use religious agents as a moral compass, forming impressions and making decisions based on what they presume God as the ultimate moral authority would believe or want. The central feature of a compass, however, is that it points north no matter what direction a person is facing. This research suggests that, unlike an actual compass, inferences about God’s beliefs may instead point people further in whatever direction they are already facing. If the first link is too academic, here’s another link to an article about the research." I found this research quite intriguing. Almost in the same breath I stumbled on this documentary, Oh My God , which asks people from all walks of life, from celebrities, to the religious, to atheists and the common Man – the question – “What is God?” This documentary has beautiful imagery and brings up many interesting points from very diverse people. I would suggest watching it no matter what you believe, it adds different perspectives from all around the world. If anything, you find it interesting. What I got out of this documentary and reading this study is that God is whatever you want it to be. There is a huge spectrum of what people believe regarding God. As there is no evidence to prove or disprove any of these beliefs, one must come to the conclusion that either they are all right and God is all encompassing or they are all wrong and that he does not exist.

I personally love the variety and beauty that this question portrayed. Even though I feel that belief in a God is misguided on many levels, I can respect a person's right to base their life on a belief in God. I would prefer that those efforts would come together to gather proof of God's existence, imagine if all those efforts were combined to study science and our universe. What amazing things would we know by now?

Right now, if I ask myself the question "What is God?" my answer is that God is an excuse and crutch that people use to justify their actions. None of us can "know" with a surety that God exists. Ask yourself, What is God to me? Do I use my belief in God as a crutch? If God is something beautiful and sacred to you then do your belief system a favor and seek to disprove it through the scientific process. Doing this will either strengthen your beliefs or open your mind to other possibilities.

The Top 30 Atheist/Agnostic/Skeptic Blogs

I just found this list of Blogs that I thought might be helpful.

http://unreasonablefaith.com/2009/02/05/the-top-30-atheistagnostic-blogs/

I haven't read all of them, this is a list composed by another blogger. I have found that it is helpful to hear what other people have to say. So good luck and let me know if you like any particular blogs more than others.

awkward feelings

It has been just over a year since I "came out" to my family regarding my affiliation with the LDS church and my religious views. As I have reflected over the past year and my relationships with my family, I realize there have been a lot of awkward moments/feelings. Maybe I am the only one feeling awkward, but when your brother in law reaches out through Facebook and states that he will always love you and be there for you (even though I am a sinner), one can't help but feel a little awkward. Like, Why did you feel the need to tell me that? Were you inspired by God? Will you be the person to get me into Heaven and save me if I am wrong about this whole thing? I hope not! Is it just me or is that a little weird? This same brother in law has been friends with my husband for over 20 years and he never padded him on the back to say I am here for you bro. I am just baffled by people.

When I decided to leave the church, it was one of the most liberating things I have ever done for myself. I feel more confident, aware and fully alive than I ever did as a member of the church. When I realized and accepted that I truly believed the church was phony and could no longer pretend to be a follower I was shocked. I wasn't sure what to do. A flood of emotions hit me. I couldn't discuss it without tearing up. I hated it. I felt so many emotions; Anger for all the years wasted and lied to, fear for what would happen to my relationships, joy for this new found freedom of thought and excitement for the journey ahead. But of course the fear was what made me the most emotional.

I was born and raised LDS. All of my family belongs to the church and those that had gone "astray" in the past had never been received with open arms. Was I ready to be an outcast and take on all the consequences of leaving the one true church? The answer was no. I didn't tell anyone in my family for months after I had left the church. Part of me felt that it wasn't really their business. What was I supposed to do, call everyone together and say "I know we don't usually even talk about religion (or anything important non the less) but I just wanted to let everyone know that I think it is all phony bologna." No, we started slow, leaving the coffee maker out, wearing clearly ungarment friendly clothing, small things. One day my mom was visiting from Idaho (this wasn't the first time since our lifestyle change), I went down stairs to give her a wake up call and she had worked up the guts to ask me what was going on. I had wanted to tell her but wasn't sure this was the best timing. I tried to play it off at first but then I broke down and spilled the beans. I was more emotional about it than I wanted to be. I knew that would be ammunition against me. I was always very steadfast in my beliefs during my youth and my mom had a hard time understanding how I could go from that level of dedication to complete dismissal of the church. Didn't I have a testimony all that time? The best way I could explain was that I had always thought I did, but I realized that it had been a borrowed testimony. When I left home that testimony got smaller and smaller until I realized that it was not my own. When I had to start building my own testimony, my reasoning skills kept getting in the way. So I faked it.

It felt really good to get it out and be completely upfront and honest with her, I hadn't had this kind of discussion with her for many years. She surprised me and took it very well. She told me that she loved me no matter what I believed. What I didn't realize was what would come after this. See, when you tell my mother something, you better prepare for it to be public information. Not just an if you ask she will tell...no,no,no...she has a very aggressive marketing scheme. My mom went home and called every sibling to tell them the news, even my father (her ex). I felt a little betrayed. This was sensitive info, I knew that not everyone would take it well, especially coming from anyone else but me. The other part of me was very relieved that it was out in the open and I cold move on and start being myself, enjoying this new found freedom.

Over this past year I have had the opportunity to have a few discussions with my family members, most of them don't ask why- I think they are afraid that it would shake their faith, but they have let me know that they weep for me, that they love me, that they don't understand how I could have changed so much. The only encouragement that I can offer them is that people change and that change is good. We need to evolve and learn continuously. Of course I am not that same girl that I was when I left home at the age of 17. What I don't get is that they see that as a bad thing. I am proud to say that I have used my constant aging as an opportunity to learn and grow. I feel that I have evolved into a better human being. I had to ask my mom to stop putting my name in the temple to be prayed for. I really think that she just stopped telling me about it. I don't need your prayers people...I need you to take a step back and look at your belief system. Ask yourself if it is purely based off of faith and doctrines that have been stuffed down your throat since you entered this world. Now ask yourself, if those beliefs were to be challenged with logic and scientific process, would it withstand that test? Don't feel pity for me. Don't extend your unconditional love.

Do me a favor, think about yourself and your beliefs for a minute and allow yourself the selfish love that it takes to study your beliefs and really find out if they are true. I am not saying fake that warm fuzzy feeling that you have been peer pressured into, no, I am talking about really studying that doctrines that you currently hold as true and see if they still have moral and factual standing in the least. I promise you that if you really study those beliefs that you will be shocked and will not be able to claim your faith any longer and when that day comes, I will be there for you, because I love you.

Positive Atheism

Here is another good, educational website regarding Atheism.

“But such is the irresistible nature of truth, that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing. The sun needs no inscription to distinguish him from darkness.”
— Thomas Paine, The Rights of Man

One purpose of Positive Atheism Magazine is to discuss the nature of atheism and to educate the public about atheism. We are not trying to recruit anyone to atheism. However, we deplore the misrepresentations and other lies against us, resulting in marginalization, vilification, and discrimination (they are no longer allowed to execute us in this country). It is wrong for us to feel we must lie to others about our lack of belief in order to get along peacefully in society. We borrow a metaphor from the homosexuals and think it’s time that we “come out of the closet” about the nature of our atheism.
— Cliff Walker, from the section “Atheism as Vitriolic Smear Word” of “Introduction To Atheistic Activism”

http://www.positiveatheism.org/faq/faq1111.htm#WHATISATHEISM